LabourHame is honoured to have the First Minister Himself, ALEX SALMOND, write a guest post about His vision for our nation*


The SNP won the Holyrood elections because of our positive vision of the future of Scotland. That vision is a positive one, full of hope and positivity, and I am positive that the people of Scotland want to hear a positive message about our future, which is a positive future.

But the Labour Party lost because they could only be negative about Scotland. They were negative about the prospects of an independent Scotland which we all know is a positive thing, but which the Labour Party see as negative. Because they can’t help being negative about everyone in Scotland. They’re even negative about the SNP! And as we all know, attacking the SNP is exactly the same thing as attacking Scotland.

Labour were completely negative about the SNP government’s failure to deliver better education, health and transport in Scotland. How dare they!

But that’s all the Unionist parties can do in response to the SNP’s completely positive campaigning messages: be negative!

And when we attack them for being negative, that’s not us being negative, oh no! That’s us being positive! Because we’re the only party that’s positive about Scotland – the ancient kingdom of Scotland, of which, I would remind you, we have a positive vision.

But getting back to those negative Unionist parties who have nothing positive to say about Scotland and its positive future…

I say to you now: whenever any member of the Unionist parties is negative about Scotland by asking stupid, negative questions about the needless cost of separation, or about why a nationalist party would want independence but still have our monetary policy decided either in London or Brussels but not in Edinburgh, or why an English government would bother getting Scottish shipyards to build their aircraft carriers – simply reply by pointing out that the Scots people don’t want negativity. They want positivity, a positive vision of the future. And that’s what they will get from the SNP – Scotland’s positive party.

Questioning any government led by me is, by definition, a negative act. Anyone who criticises or opposes our positive, forward-looking administration at Holyrood, is just talking Scotland down.

So let’s be positive… (continues for another two hours and five minutes).

* Except he didn’t really. But you knew that.

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42 thoughts on “My positive vision for Scotland

  1. How dare you let the leader of the neo-fascists write on Labourhame?

    What would “who cares” Davidson think of you 🙂

  2. So, more negativity, albeit with a dollop of leaden ‘humour’. Nothing like an attempt to reach out to the voters you lost last time then.

    D- Try harder

  3. OK! I give in! Just what is the rational behind this article?

    UK Labour are having an identity crisis in England and Wales, Scottish Labour took a pasting last month and the SNP are coming on leaps and bounds in Inverclyde [Televised debate on BBC yesterday was a car crash – again!].

    So! What am I missing? What is the objective? Is there a subliminal message?

  4. Finding it almost news(net)worthy that those of a Nationalist disposition are allergic to criticism. Surely there must be something available on (free) prescription to address such a seriously debilitating malady.

  5. I see some people have no sense of humour! Surely a sign of maturity is the ability to laugh at oneself?

    I cant believe that some people think this represents the top level of our political discussions within the Labour party.

  6. Is this article supposed to put Labour in Scotland in a good light by ridiculing the SNPs enthusiasm for improvement? Is it supposed to highlight the fact that positivity about our future is an alien concept to Labour.

    It might appeal to those voters of an I M Jolly mindset, but otherwise the parody backfires.

    Only by encompassing the hopes and aspirations of the public can Labour ever expect to gain respect.

  7. Brilliant, satirical wit. Right to the heart of the neo-fascists and their deliberate policy of positivity and doing things good too. Keep up the good work. Genius.

    1. You need to get out more, there are some brilliantly funny scots so if you thought the article was funny try this

  8. John Ruddy ‘I cant believe that some people think this represents the top level of our political discussions within the Labour party.’

    Well give us a clue, then. All we’ve had is pious hopes and bad jokes so far. I’ll laugh with you when you make a good joke, and at you when when you make a bad one.

    You need to make some sensible decisions before you start the Morecambe and Wise stuff. I’ll give you a start. The last post in this thread makes a sensible suggestion about an alternative to the GARL scheme:

    You could have a top level political discussion about it and report back here.

    1. Perhaps the reason why so many nationalists have had a sense of humour failure is becuase the humourous article hits a little too close to the bone?

      Anyone who criticises the SNP government (regardless of whether they are Labour, Tory or non-aligned) is accused of being negative and talking Scotland down. We’ve seen that with the personal abuse heaped on two of Scotlands leading Judges.

      1. The problem with that argument is that it is patently false. For example, how did Alex Salmond react to the criticism levelled at the way in which the Offensive Behaviour at Football and Threatening Communications (Scotland) Bill was being sped through Parliament? He said OK I take your point, we will delay it to allow for more debate and scrutiny.

        That just doesn’t square with your theory.

        We only accuse you of being negative and talking Scotland down when you do. If you make reasonable points they will be responded to reasonably. But if you act like weans that is how you will be treated.

        1. No, Indy. For weeks he and the rest of the SNP Government said, NO, your criticism is wrong, and the bill will be passed before the start of the football season. His own minister was putting this line less than 2 hours before his U-turn!

          For weeks people acorss Scotland – including chruches, lawyers and football clubs – were telling him he was wrong, but his attitude was that THEY were wrong – in other words they were being negative. His conversion to a delay was at the last minute and only under a great deal of pressure – otherwise his ministers would have been informed, surely?

          1. You still don’t get it do you? The point is that he listened to the criticisms that were made, changed his mind and agreed to do what people wanted. And he did that from a position of strength – they could have pushed the Bill through anyway.

            So going round telling people that the SNP is incapable of listening to criticism just makes you look silly because there is clear evidence that this is not the case,

          2. He listened the criticisms, and dismissed them. He continued to dismiss them for a period of weeks. In fact he was so strong in his dismissal that all his ministers dismissed them as well – right up to the time when he changed his mind.

            If this isnt an embarassing climb down, I dont know what is. It appeared to be a decision made on the spot!

      2. The Cyber Nats never listen…its their way or no way! I used to feel so proud of Scotland but this shoving Nationalism down Scots throats have disgusted me! Attacks of “traitor and anti Scotland is commonplace because a person wants to stay in the union does not lessen a person’s Scottishness! We used to be a nation that the world respected but this “supremacy” attitude that the Nats have taken on is disgusting! They should accept that people in Scotland support Labour, that people in Scotland support the union and this does not mean they are less of a Scot than a Nat! Anyone of you should know that you push a Scot too far and if they remotely considered voting for Independence, with bullying and insults that will only have people running as far from Independence as they can. The poor folk that aren’t from Scotland must also fear for their future here especially the English people that have settled. On the internet all I see is nasty, bullying Nats….they are a disgrace to Scotland and if any decent Nat has anything to do with it they better reign in these bullies because they will land up shaming our beautiful land with their SDL-esque attitudes!

        1. No, being a unionist doesn’t make you less Scottish, or any more or less nasty than a Nat, it just indicates that you favour a dependent relationship with Westminster and less Scottish representation on the international stage. Incidentally, the world doesn’t generally differentiate between England and the UK and hasn’t done so for a long time, so forget the parochial “we had respect” angle.

  9. I posted a note yesterday saying we had to move away from this type of campaign. I was impressed with the work the Labour candidate was doing in Inverclyde until the sudden switch this weekend to aggresive behaviour. I know our core vote remains solid but we should be winning the LibDem seats.

    I remain concerned that mud slinging will bring a smile to the core vote but it won’t bring over the floating voter or the disenchanted LibDems.

    Is holding ground our ambition?

  10. Sad to see Labour Hame disintegrate into tired old Nat bashing so quickly. So much for a forum for debate and thoughtfulness on where Labour goes next.

    Salmond won a majority of voters last month because people believed the SNP had a positive vision for Scotland. Yeah he said it a lot. Imagine having a strong message and repeating it a lot. What a cad. I only wish our people had the same but we didn’t.

    There is a joke in this article. But sadly it’s on us.

    1. Sadly as an ex labour Voter I agree… The truth is Labour are losing because they have lost their soul

  11. John Ruddy “Perhaps the reason why so many nationalists have had a sense of humour failure is becuase the humourous article hits a little too close to the bone? ”

    No, it’s just not remotely amusing, more rather confused and worrying.

  12. Is this really the best Labour in Scotland can do ?..childishly calling the democratically elected leader of Scotland (who has just reveiced a huge mandate from the Scottish public) a “Neo Fascist” ?

    1. Dod – the comment describing Our Glorious Leader was, I believe, from a nationalist who was mocking Ian Davidson, not Salmond. Too subtle for some, I expect.

  13. We’ll never win over the Lib Dem voters, many of them were former Tory voters and will NEVER vote Labour. We have a major problem. Thatcher alienated Scotland, even the Tories up here couldn’t stomach her. Now they were never going to vote Labour so in the main they turned to the SNP. Looked at the SNP heartlands, they are all former Tory areas. Thats not to say the SNP live up to the Tartan Tory jibe, just that they aren’t a socialist party, or at any rate aren’t associated with socialism in the way Labour is. the ones who felt they couldn’t vote SNP turned to the Lib Dems. Now the Lib Dems have made themselves toxic the last Tory voters and the ones who went to the Lib Dems have finally turned to the SNP, they will NEVER vote Labour. Gives Labour a massive problem but not the SNP. The SNP have no fixed philosophy or ideology, they can be all things to all people. So Alex Salmond can one week say he doesn’t agree with privatisation and then the next week send a message of support to the SNP run Fife council backing thier policy of privatising care homes.

    1. “Thatcher alienated Scotland, even the Tories up here couldn’t stomach her.”

      Although bear in mind that in every general election during Thatcher’s premiership, she was much more popular than the SNP.

  14. If you want to see a really funny take off of a politician talking nonsense then you need Peter Sellers.

    Yes Alex Salmond said the same things all the time, so did Iain Gray.

    What they both did was promise people lots of free things without explaining how they would pay for them.

    But that’s what politicians do.

  15. I was quite excited to see the title of this article in my RSS reader. “Here we go”, I thought, time for the debate to finally kick off proper on Labour Hame. How disappointed I was to discover it was satire 🙁

  16. I feel really let down by the SNP to be honest.

    They didn’t mention independence once during their campaign in May, and all we’ve had since then from them is ‘independence, independence, independence’. I didn’t vote for that.

    I want them to get on with running Scotland, and all they do is do down the English and England. Most of my family are English and live in England. I wish they’d stop this. I feel picked on, bullied even.

    1. Sorry to hear you feel that way. I don’t remember the SNP doing down the English or England. Was it reported anywhere that I could read? If they have done that then I agree it is unacceptable.

      On the issue of independence, I’m afraid it is the SNP’s main policy, and the first one listed in their charter. They are obliged to campaign for it, though you can obviously still vote No, of in favour of the status quo, in any future referendum.

  17. I should have been warned by the wonderful picture of a smug self-satisfied Salmond that this was a spoof, and it took a minute before I realised that. It raised a smile because it hit off the positively positive rhetoric of the SNP. Still, Labour has to acknowledge the close to the bone accuracy of this – it must learn to accentuate the positive, as that awful old song says. Don’t allow the SNP to monopolise it. HOW one does it of course is something else….

  18. Guernica..can you give an example of the SNP doing down the English and England to support your allegation ?

  19. The tone is about right..the amount of repetition less than we have come to expect from the Entertainer Mr Salmond….the question we must all ask is why has he managed to get away with saying nothing and making a virtue of failure.

    Their Corporate image at Holyrood should be copied as good practice…clearly identifying who they are and we are…we have allowed them to steal credit for labour Action….we have allowed them to blame Labour for their own lack of activity…you couldn’t make it up.

    Our Unions have corporate identities and structures which train teach and encourage…we need to embrace that expertise….the enthusiasim and commitment of those who saw us elected Nationaly and in Scotland are still very willing….they need the Party’s to bring in new blood and energy.

    We need to out market the Nationalists who have benefactors…who may be benficieries of policy..if so lets expose it!

    The War myth which salmond trots out every so often should be exposed…If any war over oil ever took place anywhere in the world and the UK contributed….who would benefit form the reinvestment in Oil….World Oil Specialists…..What does the North East of Scotland have? Companies like halliburton have done very well out of these conflicts …keeping people in SNP heartlands in jobs….Air Force bases open longer….These are testing questions which Mr Salmond should be forced to put up or shut up….the who benefits scenario is always lost on the debate…expose the sham that he is.

    1. Auley, I too would love to see the questions in your last paragraph put to Alex Salmond by a New Labour leader, preferably during a televised debate. Now THAT would be funny!

  20. A few weeks ago, I picked up an old school magazine of late 60s vintage and read one of my 4th year pal’s attempt at political satire. Now I look at LabourHame and cringe when I read a similar level of writing.

  21. Imagine my horror at reading the first few lines of this article, thought’s of Alex letting a new speech writer loose on this site with out any quality checking!

    Then it dawned on me…I had to laugh. Even if the article was over egging it a bit!

    It’s good we can laugh at each other, no one is perfect.

  22. …no one is perfect

    Well, apart from “her-in-doors” apparently!

  23. Groan – do we need to go down to this level!
    It can’t be just me that hates this type of material.

    We have a proud history and a proven track record. We will return based on hard hitting political debate. We will convince voters of our policies.

    We don’t need to have this childish drivel!

  24. A bit of humour I know, but come on, lets stop the immaturity and do this properly, again it all stinks of jealousy and bitterness, hardly the right message to get these votes.

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